there is a whole universe laying in the empty space between your rib bones. and whole, ever-expanding, glittering universe.
in the quiet hours of the early morning, your arm resting beside mine, you told me about the sky. with words like the sun and the moon and the whole fucking phenomena of life itself, cigarette between your lips, you spoke as if you were talking to an empty room, syllables falling from the back of your throat into existence and then fading as fast as they were created. it was dark, but your eyes were open and i know it. you weren't looking at anything though, just the emptiness and the blue wash of my bedroom ceiling that in the deepest part of your existence, wasn't really a ceiling at all. it was the corners of our galaxy, and you were there, peeking out into the unknown. through the darkness, you found something there and you held onto it.
and god, i think you even smiled into that darkness. i wrapped myself around you, and wished on every star you could see in your mind that you would never disappear.
arms draped around me, you told me that you were sorry you'd hurt me. the train was moving too fast for you and your blurry mind, the black windows reflecting only the inside of the fluorescent train carriage. behind your messy brown hair, you looked at me with these eyes that told me you were giving it all to me. that every inch of you was mine; every strand of hair, every jutting hip bone, every tear, every smile and every freckle on your face. and everything inside of me knows that it still is.
flipping through the slowly yellowing pages of old writing books, i remember now everything that we are. and god, you make me a mess. but in those quiet hours of the morning, with your arm resting beside mine, i feel as though my whole existence loves you. the spiritual force of my body belongs to everything we have shared. and i think i'll leave it with you, because you deserve it. even if now, the sound of your name feels wrong in my mouth, and as summer breaks i have a feeling it won't be for us, i know that you deserve it. you deserve to be loved, more than anyone in this world.
cigarette between your lips, you told me about the sky.
but i never really understood.