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there was five days until winter and i could see spring rains, frozen beneath your eyelids. underneath your irises and waiting to escapse, they were there.
they were the pretty kind of rain, that would make flowers grow and throw rainbows across a grey sky.
i counted down the days until spring came in big black numbers on the back of my hand.

-

your parents always thought something was wrong with you, when you were just a child.
your teachers would try and get you to learn the colours of the rainbow, and they'd shower you in pictures of yellow raincoats and green cars
when your teacher would ask you what colour they were, you'd always reply with
'starlight' or 'envy'
there wasn't anything wrong with you though,
you couldn't help but see in shades of sunsets and car crashes.

-

there was three days until spring and i spent my time wishing your eyes were green or blue or maybe even both, like that boy i remember from primary school.

i wished that spring rain would come and make forget-me-nots grow in your pupils; then you would have eyes the shade of drowning.
i never grew to appreciate your grey eyes. you always told me that they were the colour of concrete and cigarette ash.

-

there was one day until spring and you did not wake up

-

cigarette smoke had never tasted so good, and concrete walls had never been so pretty. i bought cans of paint and spent my spring graffiting pretty flowers and hearts and love-poems onto blank concrete walls, because i thought then you'd understand i still love you.
maybe you'd understand all you needed was a bit of colour.

spring rains came and threw rainbows across the sky, but they bled shades of crimson-cresented blades, and paper-moons. of morning twilight and sailing away.
of sandy shores and early morning frost.
but without you there, blue was just blue.
and green was
just
green.

-

i never really finished my countdown to spring.
i still have permanant texta embedded in the lines of my hands, in the shape of a 1
it has faded, but i still like to think it is the colour of your night.
spring just wasn't the same without you, my lace-winged angel.

title = spill canvas.
spring never really came,
not here.


so this took me no joke, 4 writes.
i woke up and started writing it.
i went to submit it and it couldn;t process
so i lost the whole thing, and then i was like :@
and then i tried to write it again and i accidentally
clicked backspace so my browser went back to
the previous page and then i was like :@@@
and then the third time, i got it and put in all the tags
etc, and then i went to submit like, fingers crossed
and then it said it couldn't process.
im like FCUK.
and then this time, bloody better well work.
or else.
dA will have something very serious to deal with
>;[[[[[

critique?
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:iconlicoricefactory:
licoricefactory Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2009
i am in love with this piece. the vividness of the imagery is just astounding.
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2009
Thank youuu :hug:
Reply
:icononeofthose-rachels:
oneofthose-rachels Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2009
aw gawwd.

"cigarette smoke had never tasted so good, and concrete walls had never been so pretty. i bought cans of paint and spent my spring graffiting pretty flowers and hearts and love-poems onto blank concrete walls, because i thought then you'd understand i still love you."

amazing. beyond. words.

and, i love the way you've used colours in this piece

:heart:
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2009
Thank you so, so much
:heart:
Reply
:iconbobjoebobguy:
bobjoebobguy Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2009
"First the colors, Then the people. Thats usually how I see things, Or atleast how I try"~ The Book Theif"` Markus Zusak
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2009
I've heard about that book.
I've never acctually read it though.
any good?
:heart:
Reply
:iconbobjoebobguy:
bobjoebobguy Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2009
Very good. Its one of my favorites.
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2009
Thank you very much
:heart:
Reply
:iconoffbyzero:
offbyzero Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2009
there were* correct?
aaah, critique. Ugh, I fail. I love this. And I'm sure there are ways to improve it, but...I don't know. I'm sorry.
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2009
ah okay. thanks :D
dont be sorry, but thank you lots and lots and lots.
:heart:
Reply
:iconkestrelaspen:
KestrelAspen Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2009
this is so beautiful, but so sad
oh my goodness - you have such pretty words
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2009
aw thank you.
i do try. trust me, they're not usually this pretty
:heart:
Reply
:iconkestrelaspen:
KestrelAspen Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2009
you're welcome
they are too usually that pretty...all your work is beautiful
:heart:
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2009
thank you very much
:heart:
Reply
:iconkestrelaspen:
KestrelAspen Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2009
you're very welcome
:heart:
Reply
:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
I really like the metaphors and the creativity in this piece. There's a typo on the second line, but... apart from that, the structure is amazing and you conveyed the feelings very well indeed. :)
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2009
thanks so much.
i'll go and fix that typo, too
:heart:
Reply
:iconperso-melodia:
perso-melodia Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2009
Lovely :heart:
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2009
:heart:
and thank you for the fave, too.
Reply
:iconperso-melodia:
perso-melodia Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2009
:D
Reply
:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
I recognized the title instantly. I adoreADOREadore Spill Canvas. I got to see them in concert last semester (on campus!) and they are aaaaaaaahmazing live. If you ever get the chance, you should see them. This piece is wonderful. Even with 4 writes and the increasing frustration you had to have felt. Beautiful.
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2009
so do iiii !
oh lucky bitttttch.
i most definitely will if they come to melbourne.
or victoria even.

thank you so much.
i think i added more and more with each write, though. so im pretty sure the final one was better.
almost like drafting.
thank you again
:heart:
Reply
:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
you're ultra-welcome. ^.^
Reply
:iconnellie379:
nellie379 Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2009
you're amazing. if i could get you to come and write this fantastic poetry of yours or even just lovely nonsense all over my walls, I'D SO DO IT.

just. :heart:
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2009
thank you soso much.
one day, when im 49837495837 years old i'll come and write pretty nonsense alll over your walls.
Reply
:iconnellie379:
nellie379 Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2009
:iconcarltondanceplz: <<i'm that happy.
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2009
ahahah !
woot!
Reply
:iconchloroformboy:
ChloroformBoy Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2009
that's why you should save things before you submit them, or copy them; but yeah that sucks gah

this is beautiful though,
suggestion: "make forget-me-nots grow in your pupils"
how about "grow forget-me-nots in your pupils"
also you said "tastes" instead of "tasted:
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2009
yeah i know. it was like DDDDDD:
and thank you.
i'll change that, it does sound better
:heart:
Reply
:iconvertigo84:
Vertigo84 Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2009
Beautiful I absolutely love this <333
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2009
thankkk you
:heart:
Reply
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August 28, 2009
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