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he asked me once, 'are you afraid to die?' and i didn't know how to answer. i'd like to say that i am; that it scares me more than anything else, but i can't help but think that the world becomes a better place when you die. i told him i wasn't and he stared out the window at the dark street. resting his head against the slightly-frosted window pane, he breathed 'neither am i'</acronym>
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we're all just dying, though, don't you think? we're not living, we're dying. every day is another day we won't ever get back and another day that we won't ever remember. at least we're dying together, though. at least we can say that we've spent time watching our lives pass us by and not doing anything about it. i think that's the best thing we can do, really.
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i realised the other day that there's nothing to be afraid of. that even if we are dying, that even if we are lost, thats the point. that maybe we're supposed to get lost and find our way out. that maybe if we spend long enough dying when the time really comes we won't be afraid and we'll have beautiful last words. i realised i have a boy who belongs to the sun and people who appreciate the words that spill from my mind onto my computer screen. i realise that the only thing i was ever scared of was myself and i've learnt to write in first person. i've realised that there's nothing to be afraid of.
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today, i believe you when you say i'm beautiful.
this is for.
this is for.
this is for.
everyone.

for my beautiful boy who belongs to the sun and means more to me than he could ever imagine and checks my deviant art page more than nessecary, to everyone whose name i will one day learn that favourites and comments and i never ever thank your properly, for chloe whos book i accidentally set on fire (i promise you'll still get it though, chloe. burnt and paint plattered and all) for devin whose logic and mind-fucks make me smile, for everyone i've done collabs with who have sparked some words in me, for :devslightlykitsch: whose diary made me smile, for the people who have been here since the very start when i wrote about robot love and the summer, for michele who knows my name and that made me smile, for megan whose work just makes me want to die over and over again because i can't deal with the way it makes my heart race, for everyone who said they'd miss me and then i never really left, for the other writers on here who don't get nearly enough credit, for sibel who has honestly been the most supportive person, for elizabeth who sparked this realisation, for people who will never, ever read this, for people who won't get the chance to read this, for people who are long gone, for people who i still think about almost every day, for the people who invented water colour pencils, for the people who deal with my spelling mistakes and for the people who promised me everything would be okay in the end. because it is. because without you guys i'd be nothing and still lost. it's corny as all hell, but really. i mean it.
thank you.

:heart:
Add a Comment:
 
:icongrannyjae:
GrannyJae Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013
I've used the title of your wonderful piece as part of a 'found poem' as described here - [link]

come check it out, and join the fun!
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013
aw thank you!
Reply
:iconandromedarising:
AndromedaRising Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2010  Student General Artist
love this
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2010
thank you so much!
Reply
:iconx-mercy-dimwit-x:
x-Mercy-Dimwit-x Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2009  Student General Artist
This is so amzing. I hope one day i can do somthing like this and write your name at the bottom. I love what you do and what you say so much, and you have inspired me so much! seriously,
My beautiful rachel, coughing colours like a child with swine flu, dreaming of the alluring james who doesnt know he is the luckyest man alive, and writing out her heart a sentence at a time. :heart:
Please stay here. Deviant would not be as good without you. We are here for you, to run away with intill your laptop runs out of charge. and maybe, just maybe, after that too.
xx
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2009
thank you. im glad i have inspired something, i guess.
i will never leave,
i dont think i could.
Reply
:iconx-mercy-dimwit-x:
x-Mercy-Dimwit-x Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2009  Student General Artist
i agree. You have, and im sure its not just me. :D
dont.
xx
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2009
Very poignant, very delicate, poetic in feeling and intent.

I like it when prose is charged with poetry.
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2009
Thank you so much.
I think the only reason I write ';prosetry' is because I cannot write poetry to save my life, yet love everything about it.
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2009
You should persevere. Your feel for language is very much your own. It's simple and supple.
Reply
:iconang3lsdrumsticks:
Ang3lsDrumSticks Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2009
"at least we're dying togather." short, simple, beautiful.

and thank you for your author's comment. lovely.
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2009
thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconoffbyzero:
offbyzero Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2009
but i can't help but think that the world becomes a better place when you die.
&
at least we're dying together

God dammit I love you.
And I don't know.
Maybe that's too face-forward.
Or whatever I mean.
But this.
I adored.
Adore.
Correction.
And love.
And thank you for.
Immensely.
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2009
thank you so much.
haha not too forward at all, i really appreciate comments like these.
:heart:
Reply
:iconkestrelaspen:
KestrelAspen Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2009
love you.
hold on, rachel
:heart:
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2009
im holding on with everything i've got.
Reply
:iconkestrelaspen:
KestrelAspen Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2009
it'll be ok
even if you let go, someone will catch you :heart:
Reply
:iconnteg8tiondenyd:
nteg8tiondenyd Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2009
"i've learnt to write in the first person"

that's so true. i wasn't able to write in the first person either. so, as simple as that line was, it struck a chord with me.

btw, i think it's learnED. but i don't mind- but i dunno if you would. so that's why i'm letting you know.
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2009
thank you. i think thats the most important part in whole piece for me as well. basically i wrote the whole thing based around that.

oh yeah, i think it is too.
i dont reeeeeally mind, as im sure you can tell but yeah thanks anyway.
Reply
:iconrockbaby67:
rockbaby67 Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
[link] This is a journal that I have just written. You are mentioned in it. Thank you for not leaving, and I just have to say that this piece is wonderful. It actually made me cry. It was that beautiful. Thank you so much, for not giving up on dA, and yourself. :hug: I hope you know I want to be around to help.
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2009
aww thank you so much. this means the world :heart:
Reply
:iconrockbaby67:
rockbaby67 Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
I have learned that even having just one person can help. I was looking at your page, and it appears you have more people than just one looking out for you in some way. I am glad that my support means so much, and just remember that if you ever need to talk about something, you can always send me a note. :heart: I usually check dA 3-4 times a day. :hug: Everyone can use someone to lean on.
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2009
yeah, it really does help.
Reply
:iconrockbaby67:
rockbaby67 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
:D I'm so Happy!!!!! :hug:
Reply
:iconchoirsoftheheavens:
choirsoftheheavens Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2009  Student Writer
ohmyohmyohmyohmygawd.

it's so so so beautiful and you make my heart go all mushy and happy and it forgets to beat right. i love you for making me die a little inside with every piece.

(ps: everything's going to be just fine. trust me. :))
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2009
aw thank you oh so much :heart:
Reply
:iconchoirsoftheheavens:
choirsoftheheavens Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2009  Student Writer
:heart: I tell you what you deserve to hear a million times more.
Reply
:iconanjellyjoy:
Anjellyjoy Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It's as if I can now feel your heart beating... those were powerful words. :heart:
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2009
thank you oh so much :heart:
Reply
:iconvictimize-pixie:
Victimize-Pixie Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
I know I don't know you very well, but this made me feel like I do. :) Maybe one day we'll tap shoulders on a street and then I'd ask if I could just say thank you and give you a hug.
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2009
ha. i'd love that. i'd love to meet anyone from deviant art. it'd be lovely.
Reply
:iconvictimize-pixie:
Victimize-Pixie Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Haha. Wouldn't it? I would love to meet a number of people on here.
Reply
:iconendless-coil:
endless-coil Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2009
i love this.
so much.
it's so beautiful.
:heart:
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2009
thank you soso much :heart:
Reply
:iconrjaeangel2006:
RJAEangel2006 Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2009
Wow. I don't really know what else to say than that. lol. Definitely a different perspective on life. That's something I never even thought about. Genius.
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2009
awe thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconseabelle:
seabelle Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
*is blown away*

:love:
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2009
:heart:
Reply
:iconseabelle:
seabelle Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
:heart:
Reply
:iconsarah-is-nameless:
sarah-is-nameless Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2009
A fresher view on an age old question. I love it =)
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2009
thank you so much
it loves you
:heart:
Reply
:iconmala-chan:
Mala-chan Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2009
After all, how can you find anything if you never lose it in the first place?

This is one of those beautiful pieces of writing that inspire me, that make me want to write something beautiful, too. This is one of those beautiful pieces of writing that makes me glad to be a writer.

Keep writing. c:
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2009
Oh but it wasn't that i had lost something, i was just lost. if you read, um. ignite your bones, this is like, me recovering ever.
thank you so, so much. im so glad it inspires and helps you.
Reply
:iconpoprocksxlove:
PopRocksxLove Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2009  Student Writer
two words:
So True
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2009
:heart:
Reply
:iconpoprocksxlove:
PopRocksxLove Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2009  Student Writer
:]
Reply
:iconlosingmyfaith:
losingmyfaith Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2009  Student Writer
:heart:
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2009
:heart:
Reply
:iconiheldyoucloser:
iheldyoucloser Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2009
this
gives
me
hope.
:heart:
Reply
:iconrachel-rhapsody:
rachel-rhapsody Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2009
i
am
more
than
glad
:heart:
Reply
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